The Airtel Digital TV ‘Stars Come Home’ Contest is pretty straightforward. You sign up for a new connection and get a chance to bring your favourite star home for an afternoon filled with celebrity fun and frolic. Now, I have nothing against the ad here. It checks out pretty decently, really. No! Its presence here is owed to the actual contest it endorses.
It’s not exactly the most original concept in the world, ‘Bring Your Favourite Celebrity Home’, is it? It is, however, one of the most Fuck All. I mean, Dude! Winning this contest is pretty much tantamount to being sentenced to a week’s worth of slavery. Think about it. And I mean, really think about it! By some mind-numbing act of God, you win the contest and Kareena’s about to drop in. You, now, basically have to extract every resource at your disposal in an effort to prettify your house and make it celebworthy. Probably get your home repainted… Replace the furniture… Buy a new dining set… & I haven’t even gotten to the logistics of fitting her entire entourage in your living room yet.
I mean, it’s okay if you’re like a die-hard fan, and you’re actually a big enough loser to be fine with all the baggage. But, the cost-factor aside, if you’re the average 35-50 year old familyman, or about 90% of Airtel Digital TV’s target demographic, the pressure of having Kareena Kapoor in your home, quietly judging your life through her fake wedding smile and beady celebrity eyes, is something you just don’t wanna sign up for. Even if there is only a 1 in 10,000 chance that you might actually win. Really, man! All I wanted was fuckin Satellite TV… Not Superstar Condemnation!
As we sign off, a quiet word for one Ms. Amrita Arora. The celeb-in-law who features as prominently in the Ad as the rest of them luminaries, but Alas! Doesn’t get a mention anywhere in the contest credits. I mean, how sad is that? If you haven’t seen the celebrity version of a ‘You-Don’t-Belong-Here-So-Take-A-Hike-Sistah’ Slap in the Face moment… Yeah, that’s what it looks like.