Unintentionally Funny, Must-Watch Bollywood Movies: Haunted

Now, a lot of you may not know this, but Mimoh’s feature film debut ‘Jimmy’ is my pick for the second-most kickass movie of the last decade. The most kickass, of course, being Jaani Dushman. You may also not know that Mimoh’s name is derived from his father’s two greatest idols, Michael Jackson and Mohammed Ali.

So, when he decided to rechristen himself as ‘Mahaakshay’ for this movie, I was surprised. Why would anyone wanna change their name from something as badass as ‘Mimoh’, I asked. I was also concerned that a name change might make him lose some of the mojo that made ‘Jimmy’ the cinematic genius that it is. But let me tell you, friends – Haunted is every bit as genius as I could’ve hoped it to be. Truly, one of the great masterpieces of our era.

DOWNLOAD HERE!

 

 

ED: I know! I know! Minor brainfart in that last panel. And I’m too lazy to go back and correct it now.

But you guys got the joke, right? Right.

Rating 4.69 out of 5

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73 Responses to “Unintentionally Funny, Must-Watch Bollywood Movies: Haunted”

  1. Kamal says:

    BTW, it is KLPD, not KPLD
    But awesome post, as always :))))

  2. nothinggreat says:

    Oooh.Last Pane a bit messed up uh?. But the community touch-up was, for a lack of better word, COOL :)

  3. Dan says:

    Dude didn’t you notice how Mimoh runs like a girl throughout or no jokes bout the “magical” weed smoke? But fun as always….good work.

  4. Swamy says:

    Mahaakshay > Akshay > Finding Mimoh

  5. Meenal says:

    Awssummmmmmmm as usual…now I wanna go watch this movie so I can LMFAO!!!
    Gimme a Whyyyy…Gimme an eee Gimme an Aaaa Gimme an ehhhh…what does it spell ^_^

  6. ria says:

    Have you, ah, been watching a lot of Parks and Recreation/Community lately?
    The story is too full of WTF-ery to comment on anything else with a calm mind 😛

  7. Tunga says:

    gimme a Efff gimme a uuuuu, gimme a seeeeee, gimmme kaaaayyy..what does it spell? HAUNTED!!!!

  8. Veena says:

    Hahahaha! Brilliant. These were the eggjackt questions/points that popped into my head while watching this epic movie. When I wasn’t laughing my head off i.e.
    Wicked review. Thank you Vigil Idiot. =)

    P.s. why no mention of ghosts being unable to read/write and hold pens but can easily make prank calls, wield axes and of course rape.

  9. Rishabh says:

    Abed reference… coolcoolcool.

  10. Shruthi says:

    Abed!!! Whoo!

    I thought Mahaakshay was a new actor, not namma cool buddy Mimoh. I disapprove of us being denied our daily entertainment by such people.

    I thank you for indulging in your quest for awesomeness, the lesser mortals are happy to watch from comic strip distance!

  11. Niraj says:

    gimmeee a Aaaayy …
    gimmeee a W…
    gimmeee a EEE…
    gimmeee a ESSS…
    gimmeee a OOOO…
    gimmeee a EMmmm…
    gimmeee a EEEEE…

    brilliantly haunted !

  12. Shalabh says:

    Sahil
    I think the seven uses of Bhenchod (refer whatsapp joke) would fit perfectly here!

    #mithunblood is not winning

    haha!

  13. Amod says:

    Bloody scam…people have so much money to waste on such bull…Wonder wots Mithun’s son gonna call himself next…good stuff there…

  14. Sosha says:

    They really make films like this? Why god, why?
    Oh, and great work with the comic!

  15. Kumar says:

    hahha, killer review man :D.. too good.

    of course, the sheer brilliance of the movie contributes to the review’s greatness, but still, very kickass stuff.. keep ’em coming please.

  16. Sabbah Haji says:

    Thank you from heart bottoms for Mimoh trivia. I will print, frame and light incense stick in my Mimoh Mahaakshay Shrine.

  17. Arka says:

    The 1D version kicks glass ass better than the 3D one fosho!

  18. Vidooshak says:

    Mimoh quote: “I am still the same as before success of Haunted” http://bit.ly/lXdOea

    Surprising that censors find so much wrong with sensitive portrayal of rape but blatant and crude exploitation films like this one can easily make the cut. I actually sought a review of the film because I didn’t believe the outlandish plot you sketched. Unfortunately, you didnt exaggerate :-(

    Loved this strip. But Game was the best in recent memory.

  19. panu says:

    oh. My. Gawd. You are a frikkin genius! Posting this to my friends. They’re too depressed anyway.

  20. Straight Cut says:

    Awesome review! However, it will warm the hearts of everyone (including Sahil) to know that Haunted is a declared HIT. Yup, its true, read for yourself the news from Boxofficeindia.

    http://www.boxofficeindia.com/boxnewsdetail.php?page=shownews&articleid=2880&nCat=box_office_news

    Was it the 3D-hype or was it Mahaakshay’s electric screen presence and kickass dance moves??? Hmmm, will have to watch it myself to find out!! Hell, have heard of “so-bad-its-good” movies, but have seldom heard of such movies becoming Box office successes!!!

  21. angeleyes says:

    loved it ! Have you watched ragini MMS ? you should .for the sheer make-fun-ability 😛

  22. kavita says:

    Dear Sahil

    Blinded by the sheer brilliance of your art/talent many will not tell you this. This post was in very bad taste.
    I usually share your stuff with colleagues but this one I cannot.
    Yes, we are middle=aged probably old enough to be your mothers!
    So obviously our sensitivities and sensibilities are of the Lalita Pawar variety.
    Even so,
    1. think why should you be showing a girl being raped WITHOUT protesting?
    2. so it is okay to rape a beautiful girl, that is the criteria to rape?
    3. so Fuck is something DONE TO a female? it is not a two-way process?
    4. and since it is a man’s world all the way the fucking female, sorry fucked-female ought to ‘say his name’?
    5. oh! and ‘whores’ are always women, right? the man goes about fucking and raping BUT the slut is a fucked-up female.

    I come from the school where I flinch when I say fuck or rape. This was necessary though.

    Agreed you are reflecting the times, what is out there but you have the choice to be sensitive. Maybe you were never told how a women feels when she sees something like this, maybe most women don’t mind being playthings….I mind and I wanted you to know.

    Otherwise, you are a wonderfully funny guy and as a co-artist I would simply urge you to spend time pondering over such dilemmas to take your fabulous art to greater heights.

    best wishes
    kavita

    • Sahil Rizwan says:

      Kavita, I can tell this issue is close to your heart, and I guess understand where you’re coming from. Because I don’t disagree with you on most of what you’ve said. But I think you may have gotten a little too outraged a little too soon and started skimming through the comic. So, in my defence:

      1) First off, the story is about a ghost woman who is raped every night for 80 years and doesn’t do anything about it till a guy from the future comes back and rescues her. It’s messed up, *but I didn’t write it.*

      Having said that, I’m pretty sure you were being more specific about the passive portrayal. So, if you observe 9 panels from the top and 16 panels from the bottom, the woman kills the guy with a vase in self-defence. And the stick figure lady does go “Eee!” in the first assault panel. I know it’s no candle-light vigil, but yeah. I also know there’re some blank panels where I got lazy and didn’t give the lady stick-figure anything to say, so if you really are incensed by the drawing just standing there and taking it, I can go back and insert exclamations like “Eee!” or “Nahiii!”. But… Yeah.

      2) No. It’s not okay to rape anyone – beautiful, human, stick figure or otherwise. I realise there may have been bad phrasing on my part, and for that I apologize. But I was only trying to highlight how outlandish and stupid it was that a ghost, who has unlimited power and freedom to do anything he wishes to in the entire universe, would find *anything* so attractive and appealing that he spends all eternity without doing anything else. Ever.

      3) Well, rape is a one-way process. Also, I don’t think I’ve used the word ‘fuck’ in that sense anywhere in this comic, anyway. Yes, I’ve used other words, like ‘bone’ and ‘do’. But again, strictly in the one-way rape sense.

      4) It’s just a phrase. Even women use it. I get the ‘Stick Figure MCP Dominance & Power Dynamics in Sex’ argument and everything, but really… In this context, it’s just a random phrase I threw in.

      5) Actually, the only time I used the word “whore” in this comic, it’s stick figure Mimoh calling stick figure tantrik man that. The woman just happened to be in that panel. And I refer to the entire situation and not the woman when i say “fucked up”. Waise, the comic says “messed up”, but that’s irrelevant semantics.

      About the general cussing and expletives, I’d apologize, but it’s not a conscious thing. It’s just the way I write, and if I started spending time actively cutting down on the cursing, it just wouldn’t flow naturally, you know? =)

      Having said all that, I do apologize for offending you. Take it from me, if something gets you this worked up, you should just stop reading. It’s not worth it. =)

      • VampyrGoddess says:

        Sahil Rizwan, you’ve done a tremendous job. Wow.. I laughed so hard, I had to show this to my other friends haha!

        Besides, I’m a woman and I don’t feel offended one bit. Comedy is Comedy, one should take a joke. Those who can’t, you are free to choose a different circle of entertainment. Besides, why is it okay to use vulgar language against men? Women get offended by the least bit but as soon as it’s a man being insulted.. everything is “okay” again? Wrong. However, this is Comedy, have a laugh for God’s sake people! Life is So beautiful lol.. byebye! Keep up the great work!

    • Ketan says:

      Kavita – you need to get a life.

      Not to mention a sense of context, and a sense of humour.

  23. kavita says:

    oops! the above comment is mostly for the men who are laughing out aloud cackling without a brain cell in their balls. too. thanx, kavita

    • Sahil Rizwan says:

      Ayyo! Just read this. Women are laughing too.

      Unnecessary.

    • M says:

      You need to do something about your website.

    • jason says:

      hon…whats the dealiyo
      if you need brains to see a movie, please switch off the tivo and save some monies from not going to malls
      instead try this
      quit job or college or whatever you are doing, quite your internet connection, get a orange dress, tie your hair up, and use that saved money to by one way ticket to nepal
      please …..by doing so, you save electricity, tress and lot of bandwidth

      to peace \m/

  24. CrazyFauji says:

    Saw it with a friend and I was amazed by the sheer mix of Genre in this classic!!…. I mean There’s action, (lots of) comedy, Sprinkling of horror(of the sheer crap anyone can churn out nowadays), romance , action(path breaking action sequence by the possessed ghost )……..
    No wonder it’s a hit…:P…….

  25. Surekha says:

    Sahil, has anyone ever told you that you’re beyond awesome?
    Awesome spoof! 😀

  26. M says:

    Awesomeness!!

  27. Straight Cut says:

    Guys, Haunted is a bigger success than I had thought! Read below!!
    Sooooo, we can expect more Mahakshay-Vikram Bhatt kickassery in the near future!!! :)

    Haunted Emerges Major Success
    Monday 16th May 2011 14.30 IST
    Boxofficeindia.Com Trade Network

    Haunted has emerged the fourth major winner of the year after Yamla Pagla Deewana, Tanu Weds Manu and No One Killed Jessica.
    The film has help up strongly in its second weekend as it grossed over 3.50 crore nett. The ten day total is around 18 crore and two weeks will end up at around 20 crore nett. The drop from first weekend to second weekend is just 55%.
    The success has come in the form of strong business in single screens. The film had a small multiplex release with 4-5 shows on average and its after a long time that a film has grossed this high with that sort of multiplex release.
    The film is excellent at B centres across the country especially CP Berar and CI. A centre like Bhopal recorded nearly 30 lakhs business in week one which is similar to the first week billing of a big film like Thank You from Bhopal.

  28. GJ says:

    “cool….coolcoolcool”…..I see someone’s a fan of ‘Community’ – nice!

    Brilliant as always, yo.

  29. Hahahahahahahahahaha….this is so amazingly funny!!! I am a BIG fan of your writing now…I guess I will see the movie again and laugh out loud this time…

    p.s. wish you ahd mentioned something about the 3D effect as well :)

  30. Sangeet says:

    Kickassgiri dude! !

  31. @nks says:

    The 30th panel in which the time traveling protagonist, is unable to get past the glass door to rescue the gal.

    I would like to say that, he was thrown out of the glass window by the horny piano teacher, and that’s the precise reason he couldn’t get pass that door, and not because he was afraid of braking glass and getting the horny old man off a mediocre looking 1930 gal.

    Please do the needed correction … 😉 …

    rest all … Total Pwnage !!

  32. Donna says:

    Guess what, today i saw people attending Haunted success party on zoom and it had celina jaitely with no makeup – lol@@ – awesome website dude – I superlikes!!

  33. Donna says:

    Aaaaaand I am a Woman and I laughed hysterically – and for sure Kavitha seems to be a malayali 😀 lol!!

  34. Victor says:

    Bloody brilliant!!!
    More!!

  35. Awesome! Loved the review!
    A bunch of us watched ‘Haunted’ last week. The only thing that saved us from ripping our hair off in frustration was the fact that the audience was cool and had a good sense of humour. There were funny comments and catcalls by all of us(the amused audience) from time to time. The only saving grace of the movie – it is unintentionally funny. Hallelujah.

    One thing that I was forced to notice throughout the movie; the hero has only one expression on his face. Honestly! Excepting the hiphopping scene, there is that same slightly constipated look on his face! What’s up with that?

  36. KK says:

    Well Sahil, just stumbbled upon your comic and I must say, you are awesome. You have got a great sense of humor. Keep it up, buddy (no pun intended) !!!

    And one more thing to say about one of the readers being offended, well, there is no compulsion on reading each and everything available on the internet. In case someone is offended, there is always a CLOASE button on the top-most right corner of the window. An artist should not change his ways of expressing his art or the content just because someone is offended.

  37. Limette says:

    Hey, I just found your blog -and you really got me laughing. A week ago or so, I saw the trailer of Haunted, and I was LAUGHING in front of my laptop. Ah, it’s hilarious. I really want to see it, once the DVD is released.

  38. […] Posted by goodlookingrascal Haunted 2/10 ^ A review you might want to read. I just love the reviews of this guy. __________________ The world […]

  39. seema sinha says:

    If a director wants to make a commedy movie ,he just needs to sign Mimoh.Jokes apart,this guy is acting just because of his father.He does not have any talent.

  40. Vramori says:

    Rotfl!! This is by far one of the awesome-r sauced reviews! Kudos! : D Laaaved it!

  41. Pork_Chop says:

    Awesome too good…the last frame nailed the shit man…. Wuuuuu Huuuuu !

  42. venkat says:

    Call me dumb but I didn’t get the last frame :( What exactly happened!

    Brilliant review otherwise!

  43. Agyaat says:

    Hahaha.. so the ol’ geezer man gets off to rape category ghost-porn for 80 years, of the same two porn actors, and tired of it, decides to let a young real estate broker cure the fuck because he did not want to spoil his own source of entertainment ? Genius plot ain’t it !!

  44. Maitreyi says:

    This is absolutely brilliant. Arch nemesis. Glass. What genius. One of the best
    When’s the next one coming up?

  45. Abdaal says:

    Many people seem to have missed the ample endowments of the film’s fetching Ancient Heroine. This of course should be analysed in the light of Prabhuji’s own track record. Who can forget the DD Ganga of Gunda (Shankar ki rakhail). Mahaakshay alias Prabhuji Jr. has only continued the family tradition of romancing (?) healthy cows on screen.

  46. Divya says:

    I’ve read many of your comic strips but never left a comment before. Just wanted to say…. brilliant Sahil, brilliant! I love your idea of blank panels in between where none of the characters actually have a dialogue but just stare at one another as though saying ‘wtf???’ and then continue on with the ridiculousness anyway in the next panel. You are a genius! Also, extra points for the Community reference in this one! :-)

  47. rupsha says:

    amazing!!!:) i wish i had read this before i saw the film ..neways..please do ‘ready’..please!!!

  48. Gypsiee says:

    Fish …. I saw this one, for reel. In 3D that too. Well it was 4D for my with sis in law next to me, nudging poking through the 4 hours, every scene, every sound, creep, crawl, tongue what have you …… yanno …. brilliant side effects.

    Awesome as usual.

  49. neha says:

    too good … i nvr knew that such a ruined movie could sound so much better !!
    great work !!

  50. Troll says:

    TL;DR, anyone? No? Just me?

  51. iName says:

    Really good stuff Sahil! This one was pretty amazing!!

  52. Leia says:

    I don’t know who comes up with this shit but I’m glad they do cuz I can read your awesome spoofs!

  53. V. H. Padhiar says:

    Mr. Rizwan,

    I am sure you are aware that there are some rules that you must follow to keep your website alive. There is no update to your website for more than 1.5 months now. You have earned quiet a lot fan following in the past; and rightly so. But if there are no updates regularly on any websites, the hits are bound to go down and then there is obscurity and nothing else. Most of the sites are struggling for visitors, but you have them.

    Keep’em.

  54. Mann says:

    Gaaawwwdddd!! you make us wait like hell man!!

  55. panu says:

    Agh! I swear Sahil, one of these days I would be hyperventilating all over my keyboard over your site. On the other hand, Have you, or have you not, watched “Tum Mere Ho”? Featuring Aamir Khan? If not, PLEASE DO PLEASE DO PLISSPLISSPLISS. It is slightly old so you can go for the Ghaat attack!

  56. ABC says:

    Hi Sahil!
    Big fan of your website! Everytime Boolywood churns out a ridiculous movie(which happens pretty often) me and my friends just wait to read ur ‘review’. However off late(after you started ‘paneling’ for CNNGO), you have stopped posting here on this site. Miss your version of the complete movie :)

  57. bhumika says:

    hey this was nice, but its been so long since you wrote about any other movie… when do we get to see your next awesome post?

  58. Girish Menon says:

    Reading your blog for the first time. Must say it rocks. Reminds me of the spoofs in MAD comics!! Awesome

  59. Scarlett says:

    awesome sauce! movies are not the same anymore. keep writing sahil :) and to fuck with them losers with no sense of humor. cheers!

  60. eglobalfun says:

    This is really awesome i m reading the blog post for the first time and must say really awesome post looking forward for more of your posts

  61. Bee says:

    You know wat– when i saw the movie (in fast forwards it ends in 15 mins) even i told my frnds its such a bloody KLPD…. hnahahahaha

  62. Vidya says:

    “Holy LOTR dejavu Batman!” Ingenious! 😛

  63. The comic actually makes me watch the movie (just for laughs).. brilliant post dude

  64. Billi Boeding says:

    Check out complete movie films for free

  65. Salman says:

    That ghost man banging the ghost chick was simply Hilarious.. ahhh..The laugh was so intense that I *Farted*

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  67. Micheloremy says:

    Имеется такая услуга – добровольное медицинское обслуживание (или ДМО).
    Она предполагает, что вы вносите небольшую сумму за абонемент и ходит на прием весь год БЕСПЛАТНО.
    Однако опросы показали, что лишь 6% жителей Санкт-Петербурга знают о такой услуге.
    По какой причине?
    Да потому что клиникам выгоднее брать плату за каждый визит.
    А если честный врач посоветует добровольное медицинское обслуживание клиенту – это сулит ему увольнением.
    Эта информация уже вызвала множество скандалов, сразу после того как информацию об этом рассекретил один возмущенный врач.
    Его уволили , после того, как он посоветовал ДМО своему пациенту.
    Страшно, что информация по ДМО присутствуют в открытом доступе, просто находили на эту информацию единицы.
    Как отстоять свои права?
    О правилах предоставления услуги и обязанностях частных клиник можно узнать, просто вбив в Яндекс фразу: “добровольное медицинское обслуживание”.
    И именно обслуживание, а не страхование.

    34j5c6h86

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